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A parent's begrudging capitulation to self-censorship

8:43:00 AM DC Daddy's Wine Time 0 Comments Category : , , , , ,

Freedom of speech. Freedom of Expression.

I love them.

I need them. We need them.

They're necessary for a free society to flourish.

We cannot be free nor can we be truly tolerant if they do not exist. If our thoughts and ideas, brilliant or otherwise, cannot be freely expressed, then we cannot learn to live in tolerance of the mutually idiotic things we say. Especially the idiotic things I say. 
Without this sense of tolerance wafting through our society, we become repressed.

In our repression, our internal prejudices grow in forced silence. Our true thoughts reside and fester until it’s safe for us to unload. The clamps come off and there we go… Probably at inopportune times.

Out in public or at home after a rough day…

“Ow! What the fuck is that doing here?” (at the school park with your toddler)

A family gathering over the holidays after a few drinks…

“The [insert political party or organization] is full narrow minded assholes.”

“Yeah well, [insert name of person, place, or thing] is a shitting idiot.”

“I can’t believe that goddamn fuck. What a shit-for-brains!”

At a bar, when the noise level inconveniently drops…

“[Racist joke].” (that's unfortunate- should've checked your privilege, bud)

Sure the things you say might make you sound like an asshole, a bleeding heart whatever, expose your ignorance, or your bias, but we can’t deny ourselves these necessary moments of expression. Freedom of expression makes our id feel good and relieves internal pressure that may threaten spontaneous bouts of apoplexy. ------------------------------------->

I would hazard that defining and protecting this relatively new social liberty has been a long struggle for humanity. And, it’s still evolving today. Even being social creatures with powerful mirror neurons, we rage against the idea of being controlled- not having our voice heard.

I suppose this related to our concept of freewill. A freewill that purportedly exists despite the fact that we're always being manipulated by our environment. So really, free will is an illusion.

What the hell?

Nevermind that…

Even though our id is somewhat mindless and reactive, its absolute repression is dangerous. It’s even dangerous to completely repress the more manageable ego and superego. History is probably full of tragic examples, I'm sure, but I won’t list them here (this post is hardly about facts; it's about feeling).

So expression and, by extension, speech, must be free.

“I can belieb that g’ddamn fuck!” 

Ah, look! It’s the little tape recorder that follows- the real reason for any parent’s self-imposed, but occasionally unheeded, censorship. The begrudgingly bitten tongue of any parent, who worries that their child might, in the presence of other adults, inform another child that that toy is “fucking hers”, is indeed swollen.

Parents, the world over, have sounded silly, and continue to do so, in the midst of social hubbub for the sake of their child’s looser, capricious tongue. Trust me on this, if you are childless and think we sound ridiculous when we talk, parents are pretty fucking aware of how they sound (at least, I think so).

However, in our efforts to restrict the freedoms a bloodied human history has fought so hard to grant us, we become more dynamic users of our native language. Innovators really:

“Oh shoes! I messed up.”

“Holy fudging fart.”

“Fiddle sticks.”

"Snow angels!"


"Giant hairy balls!"

"Ah! Crushed nuts for infinity..."

“Holy Moses's burning bush!”

Quite a curse, that last one.

At the highest levels of language repression we invent words and sounds that may be truer to our unutterable inner emotions than the words we normally would've used:

“Dang it! Shummalumadingdong.” (the toddler likes this one)

“Muyakabananana. Raaaa!”

“NanananananAAAAA! Don’t touch that!”

“BabagaDADADADUDDLYDA! Shizzle.” (probably a stubbed toe)

Thanks Grandma. No one I know is as creative with sounds as you are.

Anyways, I'm sure you get the point.

Yet, at the same time, our newfound uses for and creations in our native language don’t always turn the release valve as far as it should go…

… Which is what makes social media so useful. Isn’t that right stay-at-home mom with 2+ masters degrees? How about you stay-at-home dad who should be doing dishes?

Hey, the dishes are done, man.

What’s that you say? The toddler isn’t standing behind me?

Well, why the holy living shit-sticks didn’t you tell me? I spent this whole post trying to keep this respectable, minus a few examples…


(the toddler has never put two bad words together like the example mentioned above) (not that I can remember...)